Christmas 2010
28 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in My Striking Life, Random Ramblings of a Striking Diva Tags: Christmas, healing, Lord, Savior
This year I didn’t cry on Christmas. This is big for me. I think. I am resisting the urge to analyze this thing to death….I seriously don’t want to sabotage myself.
Long story short, I had a very traumatic experience on Christmas Eve 2006. And even though I have worked hard to move past it, for the past 3 years I have absolutely shut down and cried at the memory of it. But this year was different. Every time the trauma tried to enter my brain I said to myself “I’m not going there. I’m not thinking about it. I’m replacing that thought with something else,” and thus went the denial game. Or maybe I’m just growing. Seriously, do I have to cry every Christmas?? And if so, does it serve any purpose whatsoever? No. It doesn’t. And I’m moving forward. Those memories are old and one day they won’t haunt me any more.
It feels good to make the choice to choose life today over the past. And through all of this I am praising my mighty Lord and Savior for healing my heart and changing my life – because it’s better now and I have a depth that only comes from surviving heartbreak.
Thank you Lord….
