Had A Bad Day
12 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in 1 Tags: bad day, crisis, divorce, separation
A couple that we’ve been friends with have been having trouble. Big time marital trouble. We’ve made ourselves available to this couple to listen, to share, and to just encourage them. If my marriage could survive then surely their’s could. It’s a whole long story but sufficed to say – there have been years of issues building up and it was becoming harder and harder for this couple to break their horrible power struggle. In the middle of this mess are 3 young children that have been dragged into very adult problems – and it breaks my heart. The two adults in their lives are behaving irrationally and selfishly, not bothering to protect the hearts of their children. It has been a mess.
So today I’m looking at my Facebook and this couple…the husband actually…decided to play out some very private matters in a very public way. He found photos that his wife had sent to another man. They were NOT appropriate. He forwarded the pictures to their friends and family and then he posted details of this for all to see. It was shocking. It was heartbreaking. It was the wrong thing to do.
So I reached out to the wife and we met up for a meal and to catch up. She and I had been attending a Saturday night service together and I had not seen her in a while. I felt guilty that I hadn’t done a better job keeping in touch.
How to act? What to say? How do I advocate for the children? How to I confront my friend – in LOVE. I prayed. I prayed for the words to say.
In our conversation she told me that her husband showed the photos to her children and explained the pictures in detail. It was appalling. It was horrifying to me – that he would be so angry that he would put the children through that. Insanity!! I tried to be a friend, I tried to listen. But I was so overcome with confusion and sadness.
My heart is so heavy. I am worn out with grief over what is happening to this family, that these two people are hurting and that their marriage will likely end because they can’t see any way to fix it…. That these children are put in the middle of these two – fighting, angry and bitter – and no one seems to want to jump in and say “ENOUGH!!!!”
I can’t fix everything but I sooooo want to…..
Changing Churches
12 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in 1 Tags: changing churches, church, new church, pastors
After six months of attending a church here, we decided it was not a good fit for us and decided to leave. It was very hard…I struggled a LOT with the decision, my husband and I prayed and talked at length for many hours. I cried a lot. I felt sadness, disappointment, and a sense of failure – that I wanted so badly to stick it out and be a part of this church and make it better. But the leadership that was in place was not right. I knew in my heart that the pastor was not the person I wanted to lead our family in our Christian walk.
We did not speak ill of the pastor. We did not discuss our decision to leave with anyone at the church because we didn’t want to create any discord. We were so mindful of that, we didn’t want to upset the balance that was there. It was a personal choice. We felt we owed it to the pastor to let him know that we would be attending another church and he was … less than happy. He wanted an explanation. We agreed to meet and talk. We knew it would not be received well. In the end I left it up to my husband to have that hard discussion with the Pastor. My husband shared his thoughts honestly and without putting a happy face on it. The Pastor had said things during his Christian Ed class that were offensive. We felt he did not have a heart for the lost. He became very political and pushed a political agenda during a time when we wanted to learn about the bible and the love of Jesus.
Later we learned that he went back to church and talked about our decision with other members of our group. He said we had taken his words out of context and just walked away. Later on I saw him at the store and he rolled his eyes at me and my little daughter asked me why he looked so mad. I smiled and said hello – he was not so cordial. And it just solidified the fact that he was NOT who we wanted to lead our Christian walk. He was a grown man that was pouting because someone was brave enough to say “I don’t agree with you.”
Since we have left the church we’ve had some other interactions with the pastor and he continues to show his lack of compassion. We are not perfect, but I have a heart for the lost. They are the ones who need to be loved the most.
Our new church is amazing. Our new pastor has the love of Jesus all over him! I would trust him implicitly, he adores and honors his wife and children, he has a heart for the lost, he speaks kindly of everyone and his closest friends have amazing ministries that help immigrants, addicts…you name it. We are sooooo blessed to have this new church. We are so glad we are being filled and being lead by someone that we can respect and trust.
God is on the throne – and He is good all the time.
House News!
12 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in 1 Tags: do it yourself, home remodel, moving, new house
So after our trip to Georgia for Christmas we came home to our tiny condo. It was extra small after being in my mom’s 4,000 sq foot house (it’s huge…what on earth would anyone need all that space for?!?). So we called a mover just to get a quote on moving our big furniture and stuff – and it was low and they were available the next day…so we took the plunge and moved in – without finishing our remodel! But we just WANTED TO!
So we’re in the house now and gosh, we never looked back! We were fortunate to find someone to rent our condo for the remainder of the lease! That was a total blessing!
So total remodel has begun and it’s been insane!!! We have replaced all floors with either carpet or real hard wood, we’ve painted every room, our family room went from gnarly to FABULOUS MAKEOVER worthy of HGTV. We are now in the midst of a total kitchen GUT and remodel. It’s so nice, we tore out a wall, ripped all the old cabinets out, and we’re starting from zero. Hubby put in new recessed lighting and it is beautiful….
So in 4 months we’ve done quite a bit – yes, we are still living in dust and my “kitchen” is actually a skillet in my basement. But I sure haven’t missed any meals! ha ha We are happy, life in our new home has been wonderful! Yay God!
My church…
14 Sep 2008 Leave a Comment
in 1
….is quite different from my old church.
My old church was awesome – the pastor did not put himself on a pedestal, he didn’t act like he was better than anyone else, nor did his wife. He didn’t judge sinners harshly, he knew that loving people to Christ was the only way. Now, he didn’t excuse sin or withhold consequences. But on the whole, we were a church of humans – none perfect, but all wishing to build a relationship with God. If someone said something stupid – we talked about it…lovingly. Sharing our hearts. Connecting as friends. I had so many friends at that church who weren’t afraid to say “Tish – you blew it, but I love you anyway.” And it was ok…
My new church is a little different. I guess it’s a little more conservative – and while I can appreciate some hard core old school bible thumping from time to time – there seems to be an attitude of superiority here. The ideal that because we’re Christians we’re better than everyone else, we make better decisions all the time, we can point the finger at others while not getting real honest about our own sin. I do not respect this Pastor. He has said things that have been right on the edge of being offensive. Now, note that this is only MY humble opinion. There are many in the church that think he’s great and see him as a spiritual leader. However, I see a person that is judgemental, a little fake, a little too proud, and a little ungrateful.
There are members of the church that I adore. Mainly the elderly members – they are the ones that have really taken me under their wing. I know I’ve kind of complained here – but there are good things about the church too. They run an awesome food ministry. They have great attendance at mid-week services. They love hard. And I’m just the new gal here.
And for those reasons we have decided to make a 6 month commitment to the church to see if it is a good fit. I don’t want to run at the first sign of trouble – I don’t want to seem ungrateful. But I do long for something more like my old church…. So, six months it is. We’re praying that God directs us in this decision.
I Miss My Life
20 Aug 2008 Leave a Comment
in 1
This Sunday at church I had a bit of a meltdown. OK….it was a total meltdown. The music reminded me of my old church and I realized that I was sad, I was missing my friends, my church, my pastors…and I LOST IT.
I began to cry and soon was completely inconsolable…. I was just devastated. Our new pastor had an altar call and my husband took me up to ask for prayer. When the pastor got to us I just looked at him and blurted out “I MISS MY OLD CHURCH!” He prayed for us - he didn’t take it personally that I was missing my old church – he said that those connections were important and should be held dear.
I was near tears for the rest of the day…but I’m better. I know life moves on and I know that it takes time to get involved in a new place. So….today is a new day.
Hubby is Here!!!
20 Aug 2008 Leave a Comment
in 1
My husband arrived back here last week – it was a very long drive but we’re happy he’s home…
Packing…
16 Jul 2008 Leave a Comment
in 1
I’ve known for a year that we would be moving. But now we’re down to less than 3 weeks until we go and I am starting to freak out a little bit. I know it’s a done deal, we have the moving truck reserved, we have a tenative closing date for our house, we have housing lined up and jobs awaiting….and I hate the idea of having to pack!!!!
Maybe it’s just the packing that I fear. Boxes. Tape. Being without my stuff….
