Cleaning up “My Space”

I built a new myspace playlist and it’s got the BEST songs!!!

Music is so healing…  And my playlist is so uplifting.  Old faves and a couple new ones. 

My playlist is:

• I’m Not Who I Was – Brandon Heath
• Love is Not A Fight – Warren Barfield
• In Christ Alone – Brian Littrell
• Knees to the Earth – Watermark
• Shadowfeet – Brooke Frasier
• While I’m Waiting – John Waller
• Seasons – Nicole Nordeman
• Think of Me – Mark Schultz
• Remember Me – Mark Schultz
• Legacy – Nicole Nordeman

I had a rough patch today and was really beginning to wallow in it.  I checked out for about an hour – tried to sleep and it didn’t work.  So after everyone went to bed I decided to try to get my head right.  I got on the computer and listened to music.  Then I cleared my whole myspace page – it was full of junk anyway.  I changed my tagline to “I love my family & the Lord.  That’s all you need to know.”  This was an affirmation to myself.  

Life is full of peaks and valleys.  I am looking to the sky…

Grief…

I read an article in a magazine last night about a woman that had been through soooo much grief.  She lost two husbands – one to cancer and one to AIDS.  And her way of dealing with each death was amazing. 

She grew closer to her first husband; the one with cancer.  They didn’t have the best relationship to begin with but during his years-long fight with cancer they both started to lean on one another.  Their marriage turned around completely.  The second husband to pass – the one with AIDS – was a wonderful marriage from the beginning, they had wonderful communication and it just stayed that way through his final years as well.  She enjoyed every minute.  She savored those times when they just sat together – him napping, her crocheting. 

My husband and I had a good talk the other night and I apologized for taking my grief out on him.  He said he was running on hope that things would get better between us.  And I assured him that I was not going anywhere.  In fact, when I was feeling like I wanted to run – I was reminded of that wonderful song by Warren Barfield called “Love is Not A Fight“.  I love that song, I shared it with my myspace friends.  It is so beautiful and the words are so SOLID.   I recited lyrics from the song to my husband – and it was just a moment of real humility and selflessness.  Here is the song – listen and read the lyrics… 

My husband said he knew that he could feel sadness and joy at the same time – he was sad, but we both have hope.  We both have a commitment to eachother.  We’re doing a lot better.  I love my husband – I’m not going to let my grief distract me from the commitment I made to my marriage.   And we’re not who we were a couple years ago…we’re better.